Dept. of Hi-fookin-larryus

Rec'd a video by email this afternoon that made me laugh out loud and go to this guy's fookin website. http://www.thekidfrombrooklyn.com/

I highly recommend the "Bat Day" video, which is the one that was sent to me first. NSFW unless you work somewhere where you can say "fook" out loud a lot.

Oh well... Steers 'n Queers

Texas has joined the ranks of US States That Ignore Civil Liberties.

http://www.dallasnews.com/

What is truly galling is that majority of the people that supported this thing consider themselves patriots for infringing the rights of their fellow citizens. What is truly aggravating is that the "victory" party sponsored by Kelly "Closet Ass Rapist" Shackelford* was held at a Baptist Church in Austin, inferring that my particular flavor of Christianity openly endorses hatred of certain people. What is truly pathetic is that even though it doesn't really change anything in Texas, 77% of Texans who voted found Homosexual Love frightening enough to alter their state constitution.

Afraid of the Mexican Army? No way. Afraid of terrorists? Pshaw. Afraid of Mr. Garrison and Mr. Slave? Apparently so. This totally calls into question that whole iconographic Texan Bad-Ass thing.

*Whether or not Shackelford is actually a pillow-biting Sodomite is unknown by the author; however, the rumor exists, and as a simple reporter it isn't actually my place to confirm or deny allegations concerning a public figure's character.

"What Happens When a Death Occurs"

So yesterday evening, I was watching "Birdcage" (don't ask, I won't tell) on some alternate local channel, and a commercial for the Neptune Society came on. It was kind of a creepy commercial, aggressively hawking cremation as the only way to go when you go. They offered a web-site, and I visited:

http://www.neptunesociety.com/

There is a hotbutton for a section called "What Happens When a Death Occurs." I thought to myself, "Sweet! The answers to the Universe!" Oh, how wrong I was. Essentially, they offer to pick up the newly departed and take them to a private morgue where they submit the appropriate paperwork to the officials (see below). I must warn you, this is a seriously creepy web-site, and while they are a less of a society and more of a legitimate funeral business, the following bit seems, well, downright sardonic:

"A death certificate is required by law and is completed by the Neptune Society with the necessary information provided by the family. This certificate will be delivered to the physician and medical examiner for the listing of the official cause of death* and the required legal signatures. The Neptune Society has little, if any, control over the length of time necessary for these signatures to be obtained. Autopsies and medical records may delay signatures by physicians and medical examiners. Permits for cremation can not be obtained until the medical authorities provide these signatures." *(Empahsis is my own, not on their site.)

They say that the cremation process takes 5-7 days, but can be inconveniently delayed when "local, state or federal agencies, police, county coroners, or medical examiners become involved and investigate the circumstances surrounding a death."

A quick note to anyone who might be investigating my death: if anyone is inconvenienced by your investigation because it is delyaing my cremation, HE OR SHE DID IT!