Wednesday, May 31, 2006

The "Tax for People Who Failed Math"

Seen the new Texas Lotto commercials with Emmit Smith and Troy Aikman? Some tight-ass at the Dallas Morning News is all up in arms because she believes that Troy and Emmit are encouraging poor people to gamble. Really.

I maintain that the real reason to play the Lotto is not because you have better chance of being struck multiple times by lightning; rather, the true reason to play the Lotto is that for one American dollar, all of your problems are solved. Think about it: you fork over that buck to the foreign person behind the counter of the 7-Eleven. What is immediately on your mind (other than 'No, I want the soft-pack Marlboro Lights')? You start spending the prize money in your head. You pay off all of your bills, you move into a better neighborhood, you buy a new practical car and a new fun car, you pay for six more months' worth of maintenance on that machine that keeps Uncle Frank alive, you set up a trust fund for your kids. Every problem that you have is temporarily lifted from your shoulders, at least until the lottery numbers are chosen. But who cares? It's a palpable feeling of optimism and relief, and it's cheaper than smoking, healthier than booze, and it won't make you go blind.

If you still need a better reason to play the Lotto, you can win a cocktail table Pac Man game with the new Pac Man scratch-off. Go for it. You know you want to....
http://www.txlottery.org/scratchoffs/activeticket.cfm?gnum=664

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